Double malt and prolonged use of Valium has taught me :-1)- Never pay money for anything in a seriously inebriated state.2)- Japanese sex is kinky and not their urban thesaurus.3)- Phrases to memorize along with the courteous konichiwa, if I visit the Harajuku station or roam Dōtonbori avenue or picnic under a fully blossomed sakura tree:- I’m new to Japan(watashu was nihon ni kita bakkari nandesu)I only have three months to live.(inochi wa ato sankagetsu shika nainda)I’m still a virgin(mada cheri dashu)I never really understood the appeal of Japanese men until I saw you.(nihon no otoko no hito no miyoku ga wakaranakatta, anata ni au made wa)C’mon lets smoke some weed and shit.(shiyouze happu suttari)And, finally to give the “chillax” vibes after hours of guzzling ‘sake’ sing the drinking song- 'Papa Raccoon' Ra-Ra raccoon ball, see them swayEven on a mindless day,And when Papa raccoon spiedThese balls he laughed till he criedAnd his own ball swung side to side.For now, fuck(kuso!) the rendition in Japanese. I have overdosed on the bloody old Johnnie Walker yet again.‘Scuse my shitty Japanese…..this book is a tough motherfucker!!(nihengo ga hetakuso de suman…..kenka joto!!) The Real Dirty Japanese Slang -"Kinbaku Ecchi" works all the time.